Tom's Bigfoot Update

Here are five major developments that could prove the existence of Bigfoot in the near future:

1) The Ketchum DNA study: Currently being reviewed by a major science journal and expected to be published in the United States or Russia in a matter of weeks, this study will also include high-quality pictures and video of Bigfeet in the wild—footage likely purchased from Adrian Erickson’s documentary project.

2) The Sykes DNA study: Being led by Professor Bryan Sykes at Oxford University, this study is looking at more than 200 samples of alleged Bigfoot hair, blood, etc. 

3) The Sierra Kills. Justin Smeja, a hunter, allegedly killed two Bigfeet in Northern California in 2010 (an adult and a juvenile). Flesh and hair samples were retrieved and submitted to the Ketchum and Sykes DNA studies. Although Smeja claims the bodies were abandoned, he is probably lying to avoid bad publicity for Ketchum and criminal charges for himself. (Yes, homicide charges are a real possibility if Bigfoot turns out to be a hominid.) The bodies are being kept in a secret location and might never be revealed to the public, but it’s possible they will be revealed if the DNA results are not 100 percent conclusive.  The bodies may be in the possession of Wally Hersom, millionaire funder of the Ketchum DNA study, who has allegedly promised to pay for Smeja’s legal costs if he is ever charged with a crime.

4) BBC/Minnow Films documentary “Of Monsters and Men.” Features high-definition video of Bigfeet in the wild. During filming, Bigfoot enthusiast Rick Dyer allegedly shot and killed a Bigfoot in Texas and was kicked off the movie. Film AND body will be revealed at the Tribeca Film Festival in April 2013. Until then, storage of the body has been contracted out to a third party. Note: Rick Dyer was involved in the Georgia Bigfoot hoax, so take this one with a grain of salt.

5) Matt Moneymaker. The secretive Moneymaker, host of Animal Planet’s Finding Bigfoot and head of the Bigfoot Field Research Organization, is allegedly sitting on a treasure trove of videos and photos that he will not release. My hunch is that Moneymaker wants Bigfoot to remain a mystery. The appeal of Finding Bigfoot is a group of scrappy amateurs searching for a legendary creature that most scientists reject as myth. When proof is found, Bigfoot research will become the province of established experts and nobody will care about Bobo’s reenactments. Moneymaker will probably release his footage stash when the DNA findings are published. He knows it’s only a matter of time but he wants to preserve his niche for as long as possible.   

The obvious question is, “What’s taking so long?” Here are possible explanations: 

1)      Peer review. According to insiders, what’s problematic about the Ketchum study is NOT its conclusions but rather its implications for zoology and evolutionary biology. Proof of Bigfoot will raise more questions than it answers. What is Bigfoot? How did it elude us for so long? Is it an ancestor of mankind or a distant cousin? Are they closer to man or apes? These kinds of questions are holding up the publication of the DNA study because the answers have the potential to blow up the evolutionary timeline. Remember, mainstream science has said for decades that Bigfoot DOES NOT EXIST, period. The DNA studies will embarrass a lot of people and deliver a serious blow to the credibility of the science establishment. If the history of science tells us anything, it’s that scientists resist paradigm shifts that threaten prevailing theories in which they have invested reputations and resources. Also, more investigators are now open to the possibility that Bigfoot has paranormal/telepathic abilities. Imagine trying to explain THAT as a scientist!

2)      Government cover-ups. According to retired Forest Park officials, the government knows Bigfoot exists but doesn’t want it to be discovered. The reasons are anyone’s guess. Maybe they fear widespread poaching or violent confrontations between Bigfoot and tourists/researchers. There are also legal implications if Bigfoot is shown to be part-human. Would they have equal rights? A push to recognize Bigfoots as an indigenous people could threaten cozy relationships between government and logging/mining companies. The discovery could even affect people’s worldviews and religious beliefs. In other words, proof of Bigfoot would be huge headache for government authorities. Since the scientist establishment depends on government funding, they don’t want to bite the hand that feeds them.

 

3)      Lawsuits / personal attacks. Every piece of Bigfoot evidence is the property of one person or another. In the last year, there has been a lot of buying and selling of evidence by major Bigfoot players behind the scenes. Since researchers involved in these projects have signed non-disclosure agreements, they can be sued for leaking information. Also, the Bigfoot community is a notoriously catty bunch. Many of them dislike each other and the Ketchum study in particular has created a lot of bad blood between different Bigfoot camps. To avoid attacks from rivals, researchers are now more hesitant to release evidence unless they know it is 100 percent legit.  

4)      Money. There is no money to be made by posting footage on the Internet and donating bodies to science. If the footage can made into documentary or the bodies can be sold to the highest bidder, a handful of people could be become very wealthy. Sure, it’d be nice to go down in history as the person who discovered Bigfoot, but it’d be even nicer to make a few million bucks in the process.

We are on the cusp of the greatest zoological discovery of all time! STAY TUNED!

On a final note, it’s awesome that Bigfoot will be proven real during the lifetime of Robert Grimlin, who helped film the iconic Patterson/Grimlin Bigfoot footage in 1967. Talk about vindication!